


a bouquet of fabric flowers

by dotzipped



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware
Genre: Canon-Typical Stuttering, Fluff, M/M, Pining, They/Themrey, benrey's friend joshua is here, florist!benrey, mall mesa au, tattoo artist!gordon, this was going to be a oneshot but i said nah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24609901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dotzipped/pseuds/dotzipped
Summary: (Previously 'of playstations and pining')Benrey works at Mesa Mall's flower shop. Gordon owns a tattoo studio. Their paths start crossing and, inevitably, gay shit starts to happen.
Relationships: Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 24
Kudos: 194





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the hlvrai discord](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=the+hlvrai+discord).



"For the last time, Benrey, I can't give you another PlayStation Plus voucher."

"dude why not. i know you got em back there behind the counter, like your hand's basically on the fuckin pile, bro, you're like the world's shittiest carnival worker. refusing to give me the tickets th-uh, that i need. to play."

"I know, but..." Josh glances around the empty Gamestop, then behind him at the back door. He lowers his voice. "If Sharon finds out i've been giving these out for free, she's gonna kill me!"

"she won't find out if you don't fuck it up, man, it's not like she's counting em up every night."

"I guess," he sighs, and you grin as he reaches under the counter. He looks up though, midway through the motion, apparently noticing movement over your shoulder. Sure enough, you hear footsteps behind you, and the sound of someone shuffling through games.

You both stand around awkwardly while the customer mills about, humming to themself. You try to silently motion to Josh to just give you the vouchers, already, but he's too busy trying not to look like he's watching the customer browse. While he isn't looking, you steal an airhead from the box on the counter.

After several lengthy minutes, the customer approaches the counter, and you can finally get a good look at him.

He's tall - so tall that, between your hunched leaning against the countertop and already short height, you have to crane your neck just a little to look up at him. He has long, soft-looking, dark brown hair that's tied back into a ponytail, and square glasses, and a square jaw. Both of his arms are covered in fairly intricate sleeve tattoos, and as he places his purchase on the counter (a copy of 'Kayne and Lynch 2: Dog Days' and a small bulbasaur plushie) you notice that his fingernails are painted black. He smells like a dentist's office.

He seems to recognise Josh. He smiles warmly at him, not even seeming to notice you, and for some reason you feel a sinking feeling in your gut. It takes you a second to pull your focus back around to the small talk they're making.

"So, are you taking good care of it? Is it healing okay?"

"Yeah, it's healing great! Benrey, I don't think I've shown you this yet, check it out!"

Josh rolls up his sleeve to reveal a tattoo on his upper arm. It's the PlayStation logo with the four buttons surrounding it. It's pretty cool.

"cringe," you scoff.

"Shut up," he laughs, "You wish you had this and you know it."

There's a few moments of silence as Josh negotiates with the old, broken cash register. You make eye contact with the guy, who gives you a courteous half-wave. You nod in acknowledgement.

"Benrey, you know Gordon, right?"

Shit, are you supposed to? "uh," is all you manage to eke out, but Gordon swoops in and saves your ass.

"No, I don't think we've met."

"Oh! Well, uh, Benrey, this is Gordon, he did my tattoo for me. Gordon, this is Benrey, they're my friend and they work at the florist's."

Gordon raises his eyebrows at this. It makes sense, you guess; you're pretty scruffy for someone who makes flower arrangements for a living.

"Well, I guess if I ever need flowers, I know where to go." He laughs, somewhat uncomfortably, and takes the bag of his stuff. "Bye then," he says, giving another half-wave as he turns and leaves. You can't help but watch him as he walks away.

"You still want those vouchers?"

"huh? oh sure, yeah, whatever. do you think i should get a tattoo?"


	2. Chapter 2

In the end, your friend Tommy talked you out of getting that tattoo. You still do want one, eventually, but you agreed with him that getting one just to talk to a mildly attractive stranger is pretty dumb. Also, you're scared that it'd hurt. Not super scared, like you know that it's just cat scratches and you're not a pussy or anything, but y'know, if the guy doing it fucked up or something - and you bet he would, he probably isn't even good at his job, guy probably didn't even do his own tattoos - yeah, that would probably really hurt.

You mince over these thoughts as you stand idly behind the counter of Mesa Mall's resident florist. It's called Flowers With Love, which you think is the stupidest name for any place ever-- like, if you punched 'top 10 florist shop names' into Google, 'Flowers With Love' would probably be on, like, the second search result. Not that you've checked. You like flowers, though - as cringey as that sounds - and you feel like working at a place with a dumb name is just one of the standard workplace hazards for a florist. When you open up your own place, you're gonna name it the coolest shit ever. You brainstorm names for this purpose frequently.

You spend your (very slow) shift thinking about so much meaningless horseshit that by noon, the thoughts of tattoos, of perfect hair and painted nails, have more or less dissipated. Here one moment, gone the next, like the complimentary Dunkin' Donuts bagel that Tommy gave you earlier. Admittedly, the bagel is considerably more gone than your gay thoughts.

Graciously, only one of those things comes flooding back up when Gordon walks through the door.

You have never been more grateful for your chronic poker-face than when he smiles and gives you a little wave, so very warmly, from across the room. As he approaches you, you experience wild internal panic about how close he needs to be to you before you can start talking.

"H-"

"h-- uh-- hello sir how can i uh. help you."

You silently curse yourself for talking over him, but he doesn't seem to mind.

"Um, you don't have to call me 'sir', Benrey."

Shit, you didn't even notice you'd said that.

"oh uh sorry. kind of in customer service mode."

Nice save.

"so. gordon. what'd you need."

Gordon, seemingly having had his train of thought knocked off-course by your blunder, takes a second to gather his thoughts.

"Right, uh... Well, I was thinking that some flowers might be nice scenery for the studio, you know? Spruce up the place a little, give clients something to look at."

"your tattoo studio? cool, yeah, that sounds pretty cool. you'd probably want, uh, plastic flowers for that, so they don't, like, die. i'm thinkin' red."

You spend quite a while wandering through the flower displays, talking to Gordon about different flowers and how to arrange them. He seems weirdly receptive to your rambling about his selections; it's mostly useless knowledge, but you think flower meanings are pretty interesting. There's a lull of silence as you reach up to grab some fabric orchids, and you feel like asking him something.

"so, uh. did you do those sleeves on yourself?"

"Oh, these old things?" He laughs, and flexes his arms a little. Your stomach does a flip. "Yeah, some of them! Not the ones on my right arm, though, obviously."

"well, you could be... ambidextrous. or, uh, left-handed," you muse, still struggling to reach the faux flowers.

"I guess," he says. There's a short pause before he asks, "Need some help there?"

"huh? no i'm fine i just gotta-- FUCK!" your foot catches in the plastic box you're standing on, and you fall backwards. For a moment, the world moves in slow motion. This is how you die, you realise: falling and breaking your neck at work. Fucking cringe.

You brace for impact...

That doesn't come.

Instead, you feel yourself fall into a warm, stable mass, and you realise that Gordon has caught you. He's... Holding you. He continues to hold you as he gently helps you to your feet, and it's kind of a lot to handle.

"holy shit."

"Holy shit," he echoes. "Are you okay?"

"i'm. alive."

"Good. That's good."

You're back on your feet now, still kind of in shock. There's a moment of stunned silence between the two of you. Then, Gordon dissolves into laughter. It's light and bright and interspersed with apologies, and it's the most beautiful thing you've ever heard. You barely even realise, but you end up laughing along with him.

You both stand there giggling at your near-death experience for a few seconds, until you need to stop to breathe. In that moment, looking up at Gordon's face, his smile, his twinkling eyes, your heart beats even faster than it did when you were falling. Well, you still are falling, in a sense.

God, you're screwed.

As his laughter subsides, Gordon reaches up and grabs the orchids you nearly died for, doing so with relative ease. He turns them over in his hands, humming thoughtfully.

"Y'know, I think these are perfect."

You murmur your agreement, but you're not looking at the flowers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gordon saves benrey from falling on their ass and, in doing so, causes them to fall on their ass but like, metaphorically.  
> i think tommy will be in the next chapter, properly this time! i have plans for tommy >:3


	3. Chapter 3

It's 3:00AM.

You think.

You're lying stock-still in your bed, facing the ceiling, staring up at it with unblinking eyes. Your bedsheets are tangled around your feet. The usual stream of white noise and binaural beats (neither of which you can sleep without) is playing, falling on deaf ears. You might as well be unconscious, to an outsider, but your brain is being so fucking loud tonight.

Three fucking guesses as to what you're thinking about.

Time limit's up, of course it's Gordon, you get no prize.

After he left your shop, after other clients came in, after you went home, he was the only thought on your little pea-sized brain.

Gordon. Fucking. Freeman. And his perfect hair and his perfect smile and his perfect arms that could hold you so perfectly. It makes you want to tear your hair out, because there's no way in hell he feels the same way about you.

You little greasy, slimy little freak, you.

But you can't shake the feeling that when he looked at you, he saw so much more than the sweaty little hermit you actually are. That shine in his eyes... Does he look at everyone like that?

God.

You're a little gayboy, aren't you, Benrey?

Just wanna li'l kiss from your crush, don'cha?

Wanna hold his hand? Is that it? You dumb li'l--

Your phone pings from your bedside table. You immediately seize it and check the notification.

"tommy," you whisper.

You go to press the notification, but fuck it up on accident and get a full view of your own ugly face instead. God, you're a mess right now. Apparently you were crying and didn't notice.

You correct your mistake and view Tommy's message.

SodaFountain (3:52AM): Are you feeling okay? :/

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:52AM): huh whuh. yea wym

SodaFountain (3:52AM): No you're not. I can't sleep and also you answered that immediately so I know you're feeling down!!

SodaFountain (3:52AM): I can never sleep right when you're upset :-(

You go to type up a quip about that being gay as hell, but you delete it midway through. Tommy's reaching out in your time of need, you shouldn't be a dick about it. You should never be a dick to Tommy.

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:53AM): yea ok. ive been restless what about it

SodaFountain (3:53AM): Loud thoughts?

God, he knows you too well.

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:53AM): mhm

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:53AM): about uh. gordon failman. cringe ass tattooman

SodaFountain (3:53AM): Still? Did something happen? :-/

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:54AM): yea he came into my work and basically like

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:54AM): lovingly embraced me from behind

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:54AM): because i fell over

SodaFountain (3:55AM): Oh are you okay??

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:55AM): i mean my ankle was like a little fucked but its fine now

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:55AM): thats not the point tho. point is, that gordon motherfucker is haunting my brain cells and i cant sleep. i should start charging this guy rent deadass

SodaFountain (3:55AM): Are you gonna do anything about it? If you're thinking about him so much you should ask him to get coffee with you or something! :-)

At this suggestion, you sit back and stare into space for a while. A date(?) with Gordon sounds... It sounds nice as hell, to be honest. But you know you'd fuck it up. You're absolutely certain of it. If your weird gaunt face wasn't enough to send him running, your conversation definitely will be. Just the thought of his normally-warm expression turning sour at an ill-timed remark, opinion of you permanently changed, makes you feel ill.

Your phone pings again.

SodaFountain (3:57AM): Benrey?

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:57AM): yea sorry bro i was just thinkin

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:57AM): i'm too good for the likes of him

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:57AM): he doesnt deserve this uh.

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:57AM): sweet.

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:58AM): meat.

'Sweet meat' definitely isn't your finest comedic work, but you're tired, so it's whatever.

SodaFountain (3:58AM): I think you're exactly good enough for the likes of him!

Oh, of course he knows what you're thinking.

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:58AM): you do?

SodaFountain (3:58AM): Of course, Benrey! :-)

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:58AM): oh

You can't help but smile a little at his kind words. You really don't deserve Tommy as a friend.

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:59AM): well then i guess i'll ask him out to the dunkin after work sometime

SodaFountain (3:59AM): Great! Is this a group thing or do you want me to leave you guys alone?

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:59AM): uhh good question

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:59AM): i guess itll be easier if we all hang out. dont think im gonna bring josh along tho, u know how it is

SodaFountain (3:59AM): Sure thing :-)

SodaFountain (3:59AM): Now go the hell to sleep, i'm tired :P

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:59AM): yea yea fine

xXheavenlyswordFan69 (3:59AM): gnight

Your last message remains unread, so you assume Tommy has gone to sleep.

As you return your phone to the bedside table, your head feels a lot clearer. You roll onto your stomach, wrapping your arms around the pillow, letting the white noise and binaural beats wash over you.

You're relaxed, but your bed has never felt so empty.

You can live with that, you think.

As you allow your consciousness to drift, to ebb and flow, your thoughts are still trained on Gordon, but in a way that doesn't make your chest feel so tight. Ordinarily you'd feel like a total creep about this, but you allow yourself to imagine him beside you. In your mind, he's carding his fingers through your hair, stroking your cheek, pulling you into his arms. The thoughts gently lull you into a sleep filled with pleasant dreams.

It's 4:00AM.

You don't really care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> benrey self hatred moments lol. also should i make this frenreylatta? it wasnt the og plan but now i'm undecided, this chapter was a lot more tender than i anticipated. leave ur thoughts in the comments section down below, gaymers


End file.
